“HAVE YOU EVER…?”

“Have you ever reevaluated your life?”

There comes a time in all our lives when we have to take stock of what was, what is, and what can be.  I usually do some kind of self-inventory around September, but I just can’t wait until then.  Why?  Because my heart has called me out.  Because my body has been yelling at me to pay attention.

My mind is telling me to stop holding on to beliefs of decades ago that no longer hold up.  It isn’t one thing that brought me to this moment.  It’s been a series of events that have hit me over my head like a two-by-four.  What has been making me feel out of ‘today’s life’ is that my beliefs don’t work anymore, but still I hold on.  I feel bad and burdened.  I should have known some of these things earlier, but in life you have to go through them to understand what is useful in your life today and what isn’t.

What have I been thinking about? Most of the truths I’m sharing today is because I’ve spent time alone – time in silence, time reevaluating my beliefs.  I’m trying to get more comportable with it.

Kindness

Is it worth being kind?  I still believe that the most sought-after attribute in a person is kindness.  Kindness is not weakness.

Fear

I used to view myself as fearless. WRONG!  Today, I work on pushing through things that scare me emotionally – such as being vulnerable and admitting that I’ve been wrong about many things, and people.  I’m often scared.

Perfectionism

I thought perfection was attainable. WRONG!  I have come to understand that perfection is an unattainable illusion.  I have to accept my flaws, and accept myself the way I am – not perfect.

Privacy

We are all entitled to privacy – especially now in this oversharing world.  I still believe we have to protect our privacy.  There’s no need to share everything.  Share a little, if it can help others, and keep the rest to yourself.

Loyalty

Loyalty to family, loyalty to friends but also loyalty to oneself.  I’ve learned you have to be loyal to that person looking back at you in the mirror.  The cost of not doing it, is too high, no matter how different I may be.  I’m loyal and no matter how many times my loyalty has been abused, that’s one characteristic of mine I will never change. Loyalty is a pledge of truth to oneself and others.

Love

I honor the small acts of love.  When someone puts coffee in my cup in the morning, opens the door for me, listens to me, takes a walk with me, looks at me, and not through me.  That’s love, plain and simple

Even though I’ve been wrong about a lot of things in life, reevaluation has taught me I have also been right about a lot.  Right about the importance of family, right, that there is something or someone larger than me or edifice worth fighting for.

“I Hope to create a space for other stories and other voices. For every door that has been opened to me, I hope to open a door to others. Let’s invite one another in”.

Take care.